Money has no memory. Experience has. You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges. Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born. You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory.. Experience has.
Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come… life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences. Sometimes the wallet was full… sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone. All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all.
The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support…
The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed…
The first cry… the first steps… the first word… the first kiss… all of your child…
The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you…
The first award… the first public appreciation… the first stage performance…
And the list is endless… Experiences, with timeless memory…
No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.
So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent.
Time will pass… economy will revive… currency will soon be in current… and in all this, we don't want look back and realize we did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences… If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.
Make a statement with the way you live your life: How I feel has nothing to do with how much I have.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
INDIAN IN INDIA
* AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM. HOW DID YOU FIND MY COUNTRY?
* THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.
* THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED "HOW DID YOU FIND MY DEAR FELLOW INDIANS?
* INDIANS?? WHO INDIANS? WHICH INDIANS?
* I DIDN'T FIND OR MEET A SINGLE INDIAN THERE IN INDIA.
* Friend said "WHAT NONSENSE? WHO ELSE CAN YOU MEET IN INDIA THEN?
* THE AMERICAN SAID, IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI, IN PUNJAB A PUNJABI, IN BIHAR, I MET BIHARI, IN MAHARASTRA, I MET MAHARASHITRAN, IN RAJASTHAN I MET MARWADI & RAJPUT, IN BENGAL, I MET BENGALI, IN TAMILNADU, I MET TAMILIANS. THEN I MET A MUSLIM, A HINDU, A CHRISTIAN, A JAIN, A BUDDHIST AND MANY MANY MORE. I MET BRAMHINS, I MET HARIJAN, I MET KSHATRIYA, I MET MARATHA'S, I MET DALIT'S, I MET WANI, I MET KUNBI, I MET VANJARI AND MANY ONES ACROSS INDIA.BUT DEAR, NOT A SINGLE INDIAN.
THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS ABOUT INDIA AND ABOUT US?
Days are not far, WHEN INDEED WE WOULD BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL; THE WAY CURRENT POLITICIANS + POLITICAL PARTIES WANT.
LET'S TOGETHER FIGHT BACK.
ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN, than saying i am Maharashtrian, i am Tamilian, i am Malayali, i am Bihari, i am Gujarathi, i am Marwadi, i am Punjabi, i am Jat, i am Bengali & so on.
Just think of it.
JAI HIND
* THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.
* THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED "HOW DID YOU FIND MY DEAR FELLOW INDIANS?
* INDIANS?? WHO INDIANS? WHICH INDIANS?
* I DIDN'T FIND OR MEET A SINGLE INDIAN THERE IN INDIA.
* Friend said "WHAT NONSENSE? WHO ELSE CAN YOU MEET IN INDIA THEN?
* THE AMERICAN SAID, IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI, IN PUNJAB A PUNJABI, IN BIHAR, I MET BIHARI, IN MAHARASTRA, I MET MAHARASHITRAN, IN RAJASTHAN I MET MARWADI & RAJPUT, IN BENGAL, I MET BENGALI, IN TAMILNADU, I MET TAMILIANS. THEN I MET A MUSLIM, A HINDU, A CHRISTIAN, A JAIN, A BUDDHIST AND MANY MANY MORE. I MET BRAMHINS, I MET HARIJAN, I MET KSHATRIYA, I MET MARATHA'S, I MET DALIT'S, I MET WANI, I MET KUNBI, I MET VANJARI AND MANY ONES ACROSS INDIA.BUT DEAR, NOT A SINGLE INDIAN.
THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS ABOUT INDIA AND ABOUT US?
Days are not far, WHEN INDEED WE WOULD BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL; THE WAY CURRENT POLITICIANS + POLITICAL PARTIES WANT.
LET'S TOGETHER FIGHT BACK.
ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN, than saying i am Maharashtrian, i am Tamilian, i am Malayali, i am Bihari, i am Gujarathi, i am Marwadi, i am Punjabi, i am Jat, i am Bengali & so on.
Just think of it.
JAI HIND
Our Indians' Money - 70,00,000 Crores Rupees In Swiss Bank
Dear All,
1)Yes, 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks. This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180 countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.
2)Swiss Government has officially written to Indian Government that they (Swiss Government) are willing to inform the details of holders of 70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them..
3)On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on Swiss Government's official letter to Indian Government.
4)But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry to Swiss for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008. The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian's money.
5)This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country's foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Centre's yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.
6)Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people? Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.
7)Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma ? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?
8)Indian people have read and have known about these facts. But the helpless people have neither time nor inclination to do anything in the matter. This is like "a new freedom struggle" and we will have to fight this.
9)This money is the result of our sweat and blood. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought back to our country.
10)As a service to our motherland and you contribution to this struggle, please circulate at least 10 copies of this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement.
1)Yes, 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks. This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180 countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.
2)Swiss Government has officially written to Indian Government that they (Swiss Government) are willing to inform the details of holders of 70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them..
3)On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on Swiss Government's official letter to Indian Government.
4)But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry to Swiss for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008. The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian's money.
5)This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country's foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Centre's yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.
6)Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people? Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.
7)Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma ? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?
8)Indian people have read and have known about these facts. But the helpless people have neither time nor inclination to do anything in the matter. This is like "a new freedom struggle" and we will have to fight this.
9)This money is the result of our sweat and blood. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought back to our country.
10)As a service to our motherland and you contribution to this struggle, please circulate at least 10 copies of this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement.
Friday, April 10, 2009
What woment want..
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.Take a little more time and think of something that would honour and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.Take a little more time and think of something that would honour and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Women's products...
Use of sanitary for more than 3 hours can cause cervical cancer &
bacteria infection.
FOR THOSE OF US WHO USE SANITARY NAPKINS/PADS:
IF u ever wondered what were the ingredients that made popular
brands so 'free' and light and carefree', well here's the bit:
The material that makes the pad so paper THIN, is cellulose gel.
YEP,it's not even cotton!!!!!!
DO NOT wear the same pad for more than 3 hours of a maximum!!!
After this duration, the genital area is prone to bacterial action
and may result in cervical cancer or other complications!!!!!!!!
REMEMBER! NEVER NEVER NEVER WEAR THE SAME PAD FOR MORE THAN 3 HOURS!!!!
SO yes, please pass on this message to as many women as possible
and save lives!!!!!!!!!!
Check the labels of the sanitary pads or tampons that you are
going to buy the next time and see whether you spot any of the
familiar signs stated.
No wonder so many women in the world suffer from cervical
cancer and womb tumors. Have you heard that tampon makers
include asbestos in tampons? Why would they do this?
Because asbestos makes you bleed more, if you bleed more,
you're going to need to use more. Why isn't this against
the law since asbestos is so dangerous? Because the powers
that be, in all their wisdom (not), did not consider tampons
as being ingested, and, therefore, didn't consider them illegal
or dangerous.
Essence magazine has small article about this and they mention
two manufacturers of a cotton tampon alternative. The companies
are:
Organic Essentials @1-800) 765-6491
and Terra Femme @(800)755-0212.
A woman getting her Ph.D. at University of Colorado at Boulder
sent the following: 'I am writing this because women are not
being informed about the dangers of something most of us use:
tampons. I am taking a class this month and I have been
learning a lot about biology and women, including much about
feminine hygiene. Recently we have learned that tampons are
actually dangerous (for other reasons than TSS).
I'll tell you this - after learning about this in our class,
most of the females wound up feeling angry and upset with the
tampon industry, and I for one, am going to do something about
it To start, I want to inform everyone I can, and this is the
fastest way that I know how!
HERE ! IS THE SCOOP:
Tampons contain two things that are potentially harmful:
Rayon (for absorbency), and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching
the products). The tampon industry is convinced that we,
as women, need bleached white products in order to view the
product as pure and clean. The problem here is that the dioxin,
which is produced in this bleaching process can lead to very
harmful problems for a woman. Dioxin is potentially carcinogenic
cancer-associated)and is toxic to the immune and reproductive
systems. It has also been linked to endometriosis and lower sperm
counts for men. For both sexes,it breaks down the immune system.
Last September, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)
reported that there really is no set 'acceptable' level of
exposure to dioxin given that it is cumulative and slow to
disintegrate.
The real danger comes from repeated contact Karen Couppert
'Pulling the Plug on the Tampon Industry'). I'd say using about
4-5 tampons a day, five days a month, for 38 menstruating years
is 'repeated contact', wouldn't you? Rayon contributes to the
danger of tampons and dioxin because it is a highly absorbent
substance. Therefore, when fibers from the tampons are left
behind in the vagina (as usually occurs), it creates a breeding
ground for the dioxin. It also stays in a lot longer than it would
with just cotton tampons. This is also the reason why TSS
toxic shock syndrome)occurs.
WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?
Using feminine hygiene products that aren't bleached and that
are all cotton. Other feminine hygiene products(pads/napkins)
contain dioxin as well, but they are not nearly as dangerous
since they are not in direct contact with the vagina.
The pads/napkins need to stop being bleached, but, obviously,
tampons are the most dangerous.
So, what can you do if you can't give up using tampons?
Use tampons that are made from 100% cotton, and that are UNBLEACHED.
Unfortunately, there are very few companies that make these
safe tampons. They are usually only found in health food stores.
Countries all over the world ( Sweden , Germany , British
Columbia,etc.)have demanded a switch to this safer tampon, while
the U.S. has decided to keep us in the dark about it. In 1989,
Activists in England mounted a campaign against chlorine
bleaching.Six weeks and 50,000 letters later, the makers of
sanitary products switched to oxygen bleaching (one of the
green methods available) MS magazine, May/June 1995).
WHAT TO DO NOW:
Tell people. Everyone. Inform them. We are being manipulated
by this industry and the government,let's do something about it!
Please write to the companies: Tampax(Tambrands), Playtex, O.B.,
Kotex. Call the 800 numbers listed on the boxes. Let them know
that we demand a safe product
ALL COTTON UNBLEACHED TAMPONS.
bacteria infection.
FOR THOSE OF US WHO USE SANITARY NAPKINS/PADS:
IF u ever wondered what were the ingredients that made popular
brands so 'free' and light and carefree', well here's the bit:
The material that makes the pad so paper THIN, is cellulose gel.
YEP,it's not even cotton!!!!!!
DO NOT wear the same pad for more than 3 hours of a maximum!!!
After this duration, the genital area is prone to bacterial action
and may result in cervical cancer or other complications!!!!!!!!
REMEMBER! NEVER NEVER NEVER WEAR THE SAME PAD FOR MORE THAN 3 HOURS!!!!
SO yes, please pass on this message to as many women as possible
and save lives!!!!!!!!!!
Check the labels of the sanitary pads or tampons that you are
going to buy the next time and see whether you spot any of the
familiar signs stated.
No wonder so many women in the world suffer from cervical
cancer and womb tumors. Have you heard that tampon makers
include asbestos in tampons? Why would they do this?
Because asbestos makes you bleed more, if you bleed more,
you're going to need to use more. Why isn't this against
the law since asbestos is so dangerous? Because the powers
that be, in all their wisdom (not), did not consider tampons
as being ingested, and, therefore, didn't consider them illegal
or dangerous.
Essence magazine has small article about this and they mention
two manufacturers of a cotton tampon alternative. The companies
are:
Organic Essentials @1-800) 765-6491
and Terra Femme @(800)755-0212.
A woman getting her Ph.D. at University of Colorado at Boulder
sent the following: 'I am writing this because women are not
being informed about the dangers of something most of us use:
tampons. I am taking a class this month and I have been
learning a lot about biology and women, including much about
feminine hygiene. Recently we have learned that tampons are
actually dangerous (for other reasons than TSS).
I'll tell you this - after learning about this in our class,
most of the females wound up feeling angry and upset with the
tampon industry, and I for one, am going to do something about
it To start, I want to inform everyone I can, and this is the
fastest way that I know how!
HERE ! IS THE SCOOP:
Tampons contain two things that are potentially harmful:
Rayon (for absorbency), and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching
the products). The tampon industry is convinced that we,
as women, need bleached white products in order to view the
product as pure and clean. The problem here is that the dioxin,
which is produced in this bleaching process can lead to very
harmful problems for a woman. Dioxin is potentially carcinogenic
cancer-associated)and is toxic to the immune and reproductive
systems. It has also been linked to endometriosis and lower sperm
counts for men. For both sexes,it breaks down the immune system.
Last September, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)
reported that there really is no set 'acceptable' level of
exposure to dioxin given that it is cumulative and slow to
disintegrate.
The real danger comes from repeated contact Karen Couppert
'Pulling the Plug on the Tampon Industry'). I'd say using about
4-5 tampons a day, five days a month, for 38 menstruating years
is 'repeated contact', wouldn't you? Rayon contributes to the
danger of tampons and dioxin because it is a highly absorbent
substance. Therefore, when fibers from the tampons are left
behind in the vagina (as usually occurs), it creates a breeding
ground for the dioxin. It also stays in a lot longer than it would
with just cotton tampons. This is also the reason why TSS
toxic shock syndrome)occurs.
WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?
Using feminine hygiene products that aren't bleached and that
are all cotton. Other feminine hygiene products(pads/napkins)
contain dioxin as well, but they are not nearly as dangerous
since they are not in direct contact with the vagina.
The pads/napkins need to stop being bleached, but, obviously,
tampons are the most dangerous.
So, what can you do if you can't give up using tampons?
Use tampons that are made from 100% cotton, and that are UNBLEACHED.
Unfortunately, there are very few companies that make these
safe tampons. They are usually only found in health food stores.
Countries all over the world ( Sweden , Germany , British
Columbia,etc.)have demanded a switch to this safer tampon, while
the U.S. has decided to keep us in the dark about it. In 1989,
Activists in England mounted a campaign against chlorine
bleaching.Six weeks and 50,000 letters later, the makers of
sanitary products switched to oxygen bleaching (one of the
green methods available) MS magazine, May/June 1995).
WHAT TO DO NOW:
Tell people. Everyone. Inform them. We are being manipulated
by this industry and the government,let's do something about it!
Please write to the companies: Tampax(Tambrands), Playtex, O.B.,
Kotex. Call the 800 numbers listed on the boxes. Let them know
that we demand a safe product
ALL COTTON UNBLEACHED TAMPONS.
Attempts At Sex.. Hilarious!
To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It's too late - 15 times
I'm too tired - 42 times
It's too early - 12 times
It's too hot - 18 times
Pretending to be asleep - 31 times
The neighbors will hear - 9 times
Headache or backache - 26 times
Sunburn - 10 times
Your mother will hear us - 9 times
Not in the mood - 21 times
Watching the late show - 17 times
Too sore - 26 times
New hairdo - 6 times
Wrong time of the month - 14 times
You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times
Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??
Love, Your Hubby
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To My Dearest Husband,
I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:
Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times
Did not come home at all - 36 times
Did not come - 21 times
Came too soon - 38 times
Went soft before you got it in - 19 times
Cramps in your leg - 16 times
Working too late - 33 times
You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times
Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times
You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times
You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times
You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times
You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times
Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times
The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"
Love, Your Wife
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It's too late - 15 times
I'm too tired - 42 times
It's too early - 12 times
It's too hot - 18 times
Pretending to be asleep - 31 times
The neighbors will hear - 9 times
Headache or backache - 26 times
Sunburn - 10 times
Your mother will hear us - 9 times
Not in the mood - 21 times
Watching the late show - 17 times
Too sore - 26 times
New hairdo - 6 times
Wrong time of the month - 14 times
You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times
Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??
Love, Your Hubby
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To My Dearest Husband,
I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:
Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times
Did not come home at all - 36 times
Did not come - 21 times
Came too soon - 38 times
Went soft before you got it in - 19 times
Cramps in your leg - 16 times
Working too late - 33 times
You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times
Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times
You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times
You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times
You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times
You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times
Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times
The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"
Love, Your Wife
The perils of having a precocious child!
A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are
in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.People
often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old.
And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always
fully cranked.There have been several embarrassing times that I've
wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a
not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than
last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade
with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the
restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming
from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet
paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet
paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go
stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been
in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full...4? 5?
Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my
debut out of this stall and reveal my identity. Cade continued:
''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl,
Mommy!Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the
potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying
to see In dere. Oh! I see dem.Dat is a very good girl, Mommy.
You are gonna get some candy!''
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side
of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief.
This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a
long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why
don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some
candy. We'll both have some!''
''No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies....Oh! Mommy!''
He started to gag at this point.
''Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze
stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!''
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall..
I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject.
I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets.
If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who
overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
''Mommy! Would you get off the potty,now?I want you to be done
going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''
He grunted as he tried to pull me off Now I could hear full-blown
laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da
door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady's
feet?''
More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess
the situation.
''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out
now, Mommy.'' He started pounding on the door.''Mommy, don't you
want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''
I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly
opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to
thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting
to applaud..
My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought,
where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed
away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy
gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his
chubby little hands,I thought,I'd sign it all away again, just to
be known as Mommy to this little fellow..
(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She
lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan, where she no
longer uses public restrooms)
By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are
in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.People
often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old.
And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always
fully cranked.There have been several embarrassing times that I've
wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a
not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than
last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade
with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the
restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming
from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet
paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet
paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go
stinkies on the potty?"
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been
in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full...4? 5?
Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my
debut out of this stall and reveal my identity. Cade continued:
''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl,
Mommy!Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the
potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying
to see In dere. Oh! I see dem.Dat is a very good girl, Mommy.
You are gonna get some candy!''
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side
of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief.
This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a
long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why
don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some
candy. We'll both have some!''
''No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies....Oh! Mommy!''
He started to gag at this point.
''Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze
stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!''
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall..
I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject.
I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets.
If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who
overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
''Mommy! Would you get off the potty,now?I want you to be done
going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''
He grunted as he tried to pull me off Now I could hear full-blown
laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.
''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da
door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady's
feet?''
More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess
the situation.
''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out
now, Mommy.'' He started pounding on the door.''Mommy, don't you
want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''
I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly
opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to
thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting
to applaud..
My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought,
where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed
away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy
gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his
chubby little hands,I thought,I'd sign it all away again, just to
be known as Mommy to this little fellow..
(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She
lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan, where she no
longer uses public restrooms)
Motherhood: Changes with each Baby...
Your Clothes
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.
Preparing for the Birth
-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
-2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color- coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
-1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
-2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities
-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.
Preparing for the Birth
-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
-2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color- coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
-1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
-2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities
-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
On Recession - wonderful message!!
What is recession?
This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.
He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.
He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.
His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.
But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.
He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.
His sales and profit went up.
He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sell more.
He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.
He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.
As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.
Then something strange happened....
The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"
The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."
The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.
He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.
So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard,
removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.
He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.
Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand.
And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.
The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".
"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside.
He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.
He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.
His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.
But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.
He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.
His sales and profit went up.
He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sell more.
He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.
He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.
As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.
Then something strange happened....
The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"
The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."
The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.
He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.
So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard,
removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.
He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.
Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand.
And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.
The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".
"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Picture speaks...
Resimay
To hoom it mae cunsern,
I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.
I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..
I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,
Pepole really seam to respond
to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.
I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
BRYAN
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - here is a pickture of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Employer's response:
Dear Bryan ,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check.
See you Monday.
On Politicians...
"One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was
pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning
there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his
door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community
service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut,and when he
tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and
leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card
and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week..' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop...
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament"
After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was
pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning
there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his
door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community
service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut,and when he
tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and
leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card
and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week..' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop...
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament"
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